AND I LIED AGAIN....!!

Have u ever loved someone from the core of your heart...?? Have u ever felt that there is that someone extremely special without whom you can't survive...?? Do u love someone unconditionally...?? Well...I did...I still remember the first time I saw him...I fell for him then n there itself...our magical eye contact just took it all...it has been monthz since we in a relationship...thingz were going smooth...but the real question was until when...??
And guess what...?? I got the answer to my question...I don't know why I started feeling that the attention he used to give me earlier...that attention he waznt giving me now...I felt as if he started to take me lightly...he wazn't ignoring me ofcourse...but the attention I alwayz used to get...now I am not getting...I am used to it now...I am used to his pampering...the way he used to compliment me...the way he alwayz used to make me feel special...the way he alwayz treated me like a princess...why he has changed...?? I started missing the old him...seemed like I am no more his priority now...!!
Weekz passed by n one day I met a small accident...suddenly his behaviour towardz me changed...I could feel the old him again...may be because of his possessiveness towardz me...or may be because of the fear of loosing me...what so ever the reason may be...the thing which mattered the most is that I got the same old pampering which I was seeking from him since long...but after a few weekz he changed again...I just want to be his priority..thatz it..Yes I waz being selfish...but I am used to being his priority so I started "LIEING"...!!
My first lie..."Sweetheart I am depressed...I no more want to live"...he again started to give me attention which I waz seeking for by consoling me...!!
My second lie..."I think we are shifting our residence to Mumbai"...he started to spend even more time with me then usual coz of the fear of parting from me...!!
My third lie..."My parentz are thinking of my marriage in the coming 1-2 yearz"...n my liez just continued...1 after another...with every lie I made the situation even more excentric...!!
I got so habitual of it now that I just couldn't resist myself from lieing...after every lie I used to make a promise that itz the last one...but since promisez are meant to be broken...I never followed it...monthz passed by..n one fine day we were sitting together when he suddenly asked me..."have u ever lied to me..??" He waz looking straight into my eyez...n trust me I just couldn't lie to him this time...tearz rolled down my eyez...he waz stunned to see me like that...he asked..."why u crying dear..??" I just hugged him n said...
"YES..I LIED...I LIED TO U A LOT OF TIMEZ BUT IT WAZ U...U CHANGED YOUR BEHAVIOUR TOWARDZ ME WHICH FORCED ME TO DO SO...N THE FACT RIGHT NOW IS THAT I DID ALL THIS COZ I LOVE U...MADLY...HONESTLY...CRAZILY...DEEPLY N TRULY..PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME...I NEED U.."
He waz upset...extremely upset for a few dayz but after a while he gave a thought on what I said...he realized that somewhere it waz his mistake as well...if he didn't had changed then all this would never have happened...if he had alwayz given me the same level of priority n attention like he used to give me in the beginning of our relation then I would have never lied to him...yes I waz selfish everytime I lied but I love him n I can't afford to loose him either...now since we both have realized our mistakez...we both mutually decided 2 thingz
1) I wont lie ever
2) He will alwayz treat me like a princess
I got a lesson for a lifetime..."NEVER GIVE SOMEONE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE...N IF U DO THEN BE PREPARED TO RETAIN IT ALWAYZ COZ THE DAY U DIDN'T...NEGATIVITIEZ WILL CONFER...!!"

PS-i haven't  written  this
But this I for everyone  who feels the same

I wish you knew!!

I completely fell for someone.
It was one of those instantaneous connections, the kind that movies are made of. That’s how it was in my head, at least.
I’d love to say that my feelings have subsided completely, that I don’t feel a sting in my chest when I think of him, but that isn’t the case. However, I have enough self-awareness to know that we couldn’t continue that cycle, that I needed someone to be on the same page as me, and that I needed to grow and heal .
Everything in our life is a reflection of the choices we have made, and once we’ve exhausted all possibilities, we need to start making new decisions.
So I don’t think I’m going to do anything about it. I think I’m just going to let it be. I’m going to keep you as my dream person and not have reality ruin anything. Don’t think of this as a sad thing. You’ll be the crush who will never be able to crush me.

ps-my blog is incomplete  will complete  it soon😀

jaipur to mumbai

You will probably have a lot of crushes in your life, but sometimes you find that one guy that you can’t get out of your head no matter what you do! This may be a guy that you have had a previous romantic history with, a guy who you barely know, or a close friend that you realize will probably never think of you as more than “just a friend.” No matter what type of crush you have, every girl feels the same emotions of longing, excitement, frustration and often times, disappointment during some stage of the crush. Don’t forget, a “crush” is called a crush for a reason! This guy has an incredible hold over your emotions and whether or not it ever turns into a true love story, you are bound to feel a crushing anxiety wondering if and when he will ever feel the same way toward you. These emotions you are feeling can be overwhelming and hard to understand  You may not feel comfortable admitting to anyone (especially him!) . As hard and lonely as having a crush can feel sometimes, try to remember that all girls go through this and you are not alone
The experience of having a crush is never exactly the same for any two people, but there are certain emotions that everyone experiences at some point during their crush. Whether you are crushing on your best guy friend or that guy you see in the cafeteria at work, the butterflies that you get when he looks at your or talks to you are always intense
PS:-my crush is married
But the journey from jaipur to Mumbai was awesome